Ten Years of Upline
Listening (and Acting) for Money - Carol McCall
One of the things that stops people from having money is how they listen to themselves about whether or not they deserve to have money. People have thoughts that they do or do not deserve money-- and even those who deserve it tend to have a limit on how much they really deserve. People listen, not from abundance, but from scarcity. And they don't even know they're doing that.
Some of the conversations-- both with themselves and with others-- that people listen to are:
Well, if I had all that money, I'd probably be evil ... I'd become a tightwad ... I'd harm people ... I wouldn't be generous ... I don't want to pay all those taxes... People will come after me and try to beg and borrow money ... I'll lose my friends ... my family will resent me...
Those are some of the "listenings" people have about not attracting money.
To find out how you are listening for money, simply look at those people in your life who have a lot of money, and notice the misgivings you have about them. Look at the anxieties, qualms and complaints you have about these people, who they are and how "badly" they behave.
What's the "wouldn't be like ..." you have for these wealthy people? For example:
I wouldn't be like Donald Trump, who runs around on his wife while making mega-deals that squeeze people out. I wouldn't be selfish and mean.
Well, who said he does that in the first place? You don't know that. We make up stuff about what people who have a lot of money do and who they are, and we act like it's the truth.
To learn what stops you from having money, look at what you wouldn't do if you had it-- and notice where you got that from. Begin to look at why you don't attract money by being aware of the thoughts you have about it-- like the things you wouldn't do if you had money. Therein lies the key to how you hold yourself with scarcity.
|| To learn what stops you from having money, look at what you wouldn't do if you had it - and notice where you got that from.
By focusing on these things you wouldn't do, you block out the possibilities for having money. When you get entangled and bogged down in this type of listening about money, there isn't any opportunity for you to really attract money into your life and work. And you can bet that people's listening for what they won't do is far more powerful than their listening for what they will do. The "won't do" is more intense.
You've probably read the research. Each day, preschoolers hear the word "No" 17 times more than they hear "Yes." Network Marketers know the power of negative word-of-mouth: 11 disapproving things are being said about your product or opportunity for every single positive one. Sales people expect to get at least five "Nos" before they get a "Yes."
Even if you don't have a long list of the things you wouldn't do if you had money, you're pretty intense and passionate about the ones you do have. We are very strong in our convictions about what we wouldn't do. This strength of your convictions obliterates any possibility of your having money!
When people have money, they also have all the responsibility that comes with it. The "R" word! People do not want to be "responsible"-- as in, "If I had money and I squeezed somebody out, or I acted selfishly, or if I squandered it, then I would have to deal with my integrity."
Often, the problem is not that having money forces people out of their comfort zones. If they have money and they don't do something about their chief complaint in life, such as homelessness, they won't have integrity. They are out of their Integrity Zone. And that's far, far more stressful and disempowering than being out of your Comfort Zone.
When you have money, there is no excuse for not living your visions and contributing to the world. That's your responsibility. And people are afraid they won't do it right. They're scared of that responsibility-- scared to be confronted with having money and behaving outside their Integrity Zone.
As human beings, we spend lot of time in the downward spiral of our lives, rather than the upward spiral. I wish I could say this another way, but it is simply human nature. We are a paradox. We have up and we have down; the light and the dark; positive and negative, and as human beings we tend to spend more time in the negative, on the downward side.
We live in a culture that validates and confirms this negativity. Watch the evening news. Read the papers.
Why? One of the dominant physical energies of life on Earth is gravity. It's constantly pulling us down.
But there are two other forces at play: centrifugal and centripetal force. Centripetal pulls us in and down. Centrifugal spirals us out and upward. Moving only down and in limits us. Stops us. Going up and out moves us into new possibilities.
There is some controversy here. Some people say that it is only by going inward we get in touch with our power. True ... and I want to distinguish that from how we develop culturally and psychologically around money, versus how we spiritually develop.
Spiritually, when you are on an evolutionary path where life is abundance, you realize that there are both inner and outer realms and energies, and that they are a mirror of each other. You come to understand that what is going on inside is going on outside, as well. If what you have going on inside is, "I can't attract certain kinds of people, because I don't have anything going on with me ... I don't know Donald Trump. I don't know Bill Gates. There's no way I'd ever meet somebody like that ..."-- if that's the inner conversation you're having, what are you going to end up with externally?
It's known, scientifically, that your income tends to be the average income of your 10 closest friends. I assert that this is because of the listening we have for ourselves and others about money and greater income.
Here are two ways to increase your income: a) Get new friends who have more money; and b) Develop the friends you have now so that they have more money.
What this is about is doing both the inner and outer work on yourself. Doesn't that seem to you to be the most powerful and high-velocity strategy of all?
|| You can't shift your thoughts and stay where you are. You have to shift your thoughts and take action.
Inner work alone is incomplete-- vital, but only one-sided and therefore ultimately ineffective. You have to put those inner awakenings and energy into the world through action.
If you're now holding yourself as a millionaire (the inner), then start reading magazines like the Robb Report. Move into a millionaire's neighborhood-- even if all you can afford is to rent the mansion on the hill with a group of people. You have to physically arrange your environment, your actions (the outer), to articulate and partner with your inner direction.
My friend, Upline [founder] John Fogg, began to hold himself as a millionaire a few years ago-- something he did not do when we first met. He moved to Virginia to be closer to his business and leased a $1.8 million dollar property on top of a mountain: 16 rooms, an indoor pool, 250 acres-- fully furnished, too. He took outer action to empower his inner work.
By the way, his rent [was] $1,500 a month. Proof positive that it can be done. The result? He's now negotiating to buy the lower 200 acres adjoining the house he lives in (and doesn't want to own), which is on the market for $795,000. John doesn't know if he'll get it. He doesn't really care, either, because he knows that the very action of attempting to purchase that property will contribute to his development and his ability to attract wealth and own all the land and homes he wants.
You can't shift your thoughts and stay where you are. You have to shift your thoughts and take action. [John recently purchased a Cubist-inspired house and its surrounding acreage-- including a smaller house up the road. --ed.]
Buy a great suit-- elegant, expensive, impeccably tailored. Fly first class. Dine at five-star restaurants.
Is this "Fake it 'til you make it?"
No, it's not. The key is quality, not quantity. Own just one fine suit. Have dinner at a superb eatery once a month, and forget the other three or four times you would have eaten out at lesser places. Hang out in art museums. Take fewer, but finer trips. Stay with friends once or twice and let the savings pay for your next deluxe accommodations. Buy a $100 pen and keep it for 10 years and come out ahead on the total cost of all those Bics.
This isn't faking it; it is being it. This is a statement you are making to the world. "Fake it 'til you make it" is a lie. That is not what I'm recommending.
Actions speak louder than words. The key is to be smart, and to do all of this from within your Integrity Zone.
Can you do that?
If you believe it, then you are not out of integrity. You will begin to develop a powerful, positive, possibility belief by taking the actions you need to take to raise your standards and aspirations.
A luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity. When it becomes necessary for you to have money to live the life you deserve-- as the natural result of both your inner development and outer actions-- you will have it. Fantasies are thoughts that are easily denied, but when they are accompanied by positive action, they become powerful visions. Then they are unstoppable.
The process begins by listening for money. It comes into being in your life by taking those actions that are real-world manifestations of your shifting internal beliefs.
CAROL McCALL is a pioneer in the field of Life Development. She is the founder of The World Institute of Companies and The Center for the Rights of Humanity. She is the co-creator of the Design Your Life Workshop and co-creator of the Empowerment of Listening and Possibility of Woman courses. In cooperation with John Fogg, Carol produced the Empowerment of Listening tapes. She lives in Scottsdale, AZ, and Montego Bay, Jamaica. This article first appeared in the December 1995 issue.
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Reprinted with permission from Upline, Listening (and Acting) for Money - December 1999, 888-UPLINE-1, http://www.upline.com